Lyrics

Relevant Elephant Lyrics:

VERBAL TEKKEN

Lethal meaning equivalent to deadly,
If you came to battle Wideboy,
I hope you’re ready,
cause I will be the Lord,
and you will be the victim,
I’ll be the landlord,
that gets you evicted,
from your broken home,
with the boarded up windows,
and disconnected phone,
where you grew up alone,
cause your dad is a tramp,
your mam’s a slapper,
you stole your best lines from parappa the rapper,
kick, punch, it’s all in your head,
and if you want to test,
then yes you wanna dead,
cause my shadowless kick will provide unbeatable blows,
from a horse stance, philosophical throws,
Wutang! Can you feel it?
Get up off the floor and stop grabbing your back,
You get up, I slap you down,
A knee drop to the head.
Please stop he’s already dead!
This is Verbal Tekken, I know all the special moves.
C’mon!

I’m X-Wide P: a man of compassion,
back now from a years recuperation,
from kicking your arse at the holy game of Tekken,
there’s only one game,
There’s only one master,
my technical skills seems to have past you by,
as you’re sat on your backside wondering why,
I’m better than you!
well it’s true,
and there ain’t nothing you can do,
to stop me, to stop me,
no defence,
no block,
to stop my repetitive attacks,
from slapping you back, back down,
back upon your back.
you’re feeling the growth,
of my flowering power,
that blossoms and blooms,
under my lyrical shower,
fertilised endlessly by the manure,
that oozes from your mouth,
as you get bitter and sour,
your thumbs are as sore as your bruising pride,
as yet another of your precious characters dies.
This is verbal Tekken, I know all the special moves.
Bring it On!

WALKING HOME

The stars are in the sky, Moon’s up clouds are flying by, so early,
four thirty in the morning, step by step.
Vehicles speeding by, with empty seats, not a taxi in sight.
Early morning a Sunday just dawning,
it’s my day and your night.
My bank accounts in the red, my pockets are void,
got a growling down in my inner depths,
my stomachs empty too, step by step.
Got to ignore it, gotta keep on walking,
’cause I’ve got a million or more miles to walk, miles and miles and miles to go.

I’m walking, I’m walking home.
I’m walking, walking on home.
Step by step by step,
step by step by step.

The stars are in the sky, Moon’s up clouds are flying by, so early,
four thirty in the morning, step by step.
Vehicles speeding by, with empty seats, not a taxi in sight.
Early morning a Sunday just dawning,
it’s my day and your night.
Feet are sore, treading the slabs, no surprise for the pavement,
only friend’s a stray dog who sniffs lightly at my hand, step by step.
He looks up at me into my eyes and I speak
but he don’t understand,
understand my predicament,
he just can’t understand.

I’m walking, I’m walking home.
I’m walking, walking on home.
Step by step by step,
step by step by step.

The stars are in the sky, Moon’s up clouds are flying by, so early,
four thirty in the morning, step by step.
Vehicles speeding by, with empty seats, not a taxi in sight.
Early morning a Sunday just dawning,
it’s my day and your night.
Blood pounding through my veins, I’ve got an aching head,
H2O falling from above, it is starting to rain, step by step.
My eyes are heavy, I wanna go to my bed,
I wish I was at home on the floor not even, my bed
cause i just can’t stand the pain, can’t stand the pain.

TWO POUND TESCO TEARAWAYS (rap)

BEST PREPARE YOURSELF FOR THE BIG NEAL ATTACK
SO STEP BACK *BEFORE I LET GO*
AND WHEN YOU’VE CAUGHT UP YOU’LL FIND I’VE ALREADY CHANGED THE FLOW
I’M TURNING MORE TABLES THAN A TECHNICS CONVENTION
GLIDING OVER THE BEATS THROUGH THE VINYL INTERVENTION
I’M STAYING CALMER, THAN THE DALAI LAMA
BUT IF YOU KEEP ON MY BACK THEN I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO HARM YER
I’M SPITTING THROUGH THE CYPHER WHILE YOUR CHOKING ON THE CADENCE
*HOOYAH!* AS I REPEL ALL ASSAILANTS
IT’S THE ROUGHEST REVENGE SINCE MONTEZUMA
WITH TWICE THE TASTE OF A BALTI MUSHROOM BHUNA
YOUR LEFT GASPING LIKE AN ASTHMATIC
I’M STANDING PROUD NOW, ANATHEMATIC
A MAN ON A MISSION LIKE TRIPITAKA
GOT YOU OPEN ALL HOURS LIKE RONNIE BARKER
SEEMS LIKE YOU AND MONSIEUR LATREC WERE BOTH BORN TOULOUSE
AND WHEN I HIT YES, YEP, YEAH, I LEAVE A BRUISE TO THE BONE
EVERY TIME I FLEX THE CHROME AND THE FOAM OF THE MICROPHONE

YOUR RUNNING AWAY, TO GET AWAY
HA, HA ,HE ,HE, YOUR WEARING OUT YOUR SHOES.

I BUST UP ALL THE BEATS LIKE SAMO HUNG
SO KEEP YOUR FINGERS FROM THE MIC UNTIL I’M DONE
I DRINK TEA WITH THE QUEEN WHEN I CAN FIND THE TIME
AND I BEAT STEPHEN HAWKINS AT MASTERMIND
I SLAPPED GODZILLA DOWN AND PUT KING KONG IN THE ZOO
A PIECE OF PISS TO ME IS AN OCEAN TO YOU
AND NOW YOUR STUBBED LIKE UNA
TRIPPING ON THE RHYTHM WHEN YOU SHOULD HAVE STEPPED SOONER
SLIDING WITH THE BEATS FOR THE OPTIMUM FLOW
SO SLICK, SO SMOOTH, *SO DELICIOUSLY LOW*
SO WHERE ARE YOU GONNA GO ?
I’D LIKE TO THINK THAT I WOULD DO
WHAT EDWARD WOODWARD WOULD DO
IN SITUATIONS SUCH AS THESE
I’D COPE WITH CALM AND SUBTLE EASE
YOU SAY I’M BEING BESTED
I’M NOT EVEN TESTED
COME BACK TOMORROW WHEN I’M MORE INTERESTED

YOU’VE LET ME DOWN
YOU’VE LET THE SIDE DOWN
BUT MOST OF ALL YOU’VE LET YOURSELF DOWN.

CHICKEN AVENGER (rap)

I WOKE UP THE OTHER DAY AT DAWN AFTER HAVING A WEIRD AND WONDERFUL DREAM THAT NIGHT
I DREAMT I WAS AT MY SISTERS WEDDING (ALTHOUGH SHE’S ALREADY MARRIED) BUT HER HUSBAND WAS THERE SO IT WAS ALL RIGHT
I WAS FEELING A LITTLE EMBARRASSED IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY,
MY RELATIVES YOU SEE, MAKE ME HAVE THAT CERTAIN KIND OF EMBARRASSMENT THAT YOU ONLY GET FROM A SIT-COM OR DAYTIME T.V.
THE RECEPTION TOOK PLACE UPON MY PRIMARY SCHOOLS MULTI PURPOSE PLAYING FIELDS, BUT
WITH THE TABLES SET OUT AMONGST THE NETBALL, FOOTBALL (FIVE A SIDE ONLY) AND BASKETBALL COURT
ENTREES ARRIVED A SORT OF APERITIF, A STARTER, A MAIN COURSE, THEN DESERT THAT WAS A SWEET
A TOAST TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM AND THANKS TO ALL THE GUESTS, THE BRIDESMAIDS, THE PAGE BOY AND THE FOOD THAT WE EAT
IT WAS THEN TIME FOR THE ‘CHEESY NIGHTS’ DISCO, WITH PARTY SONGS AND EIGHT COLOURED FLASHING LIGHTS
A ROMANTIC SONG FOR THE BRIDE AND GROOM THEN AGADOO FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT

AROUND SIX O’CLOCK MY FATHER INFORMED ME OF A SURPRISE FOR ME, A TREAT
A HOLIDAY IN MARBELLA, FOR ME FOR A WHOLE TWO WEEKS
BUT THE FLIGHT WAS AT EIGHT FROM GATWICK OR MAYBE HEATHROW
SO WE ONLY HAD TWO HOURS AND A HUNDRED ODD MILES OR SO TO GO
MY DAD SAID “IT’S O.K. DON’T FRET, WE’LL GO IN MY TRUSTY MINI VAN WITH WINDOWS IN THE BACK, WE’LL GO CROSS COUNTRY OVER THE FIELDS AND MEADOWS AND THEN I’LL COME BACK.”
WE GOT LOST ON THE WAY AND TIME WAS RUNNING OUT
SO PULLING INTO AN OUT OF TOWN SHOPPING MALL
I WENT TO USE A PHONE, TO RING THE PLANE STATION AND TO BUY SOME CLOTHES, FOR I WAS STILL IN MY WEDDING DRESS, SUITABLE ATTIRE FOR THE OCCASION.

WHEN, THERE IT WAS, A MESSAGE FOR ME WRITTEN IN CHINA GRAPH ON THE ENORMOUS, GLAZED, DOUBLE, AUTOMATIC OPENING DOORS
‘WIDEBOY P. DON’T YOU WORRY, YOUR FLIGHTS DELAYED, YOU’VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME, JUST GET TO THE AIRPORT IN YOUR OWN GOOD TIME.’
BREATHING A SIGH OF RELIEF, THE RUSH WAS NO LONGER ON, SO I DECIDED TO TEST MY CONSUMER RIGHTS ON SUN TAN LOTION, A PAIR OF OAKLEYS AND MAYBE, IF I FEEL LIKE IT I’LL BUY MYSELF A GUN.
THEN SUDDENLY BEHIND ME A MUGGING WAS IN PROGRESS, A MAN IN A BLACK BOMBER JACKET WAS STEALING A PURSE THAT BELONGED TO A SWEET OLD LADY IN A FLORAL PRINT DRESS
I WAS FLABBERGASTED, STRUCK DUMB AND STRUCK MUTE, DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WHEN ON THE BALCONY ABOVE APPEARED A MAN DRESSED IN A BIG CHICKEN SUIT.

” I AM THE CHICKEN AVENGER ” HE CRIED, WITH FIST CLENCHED HIGH IN THE AIR ABOVE HIS BEAK, AND JUMPED OVER THE BALCONY TO THE MAIN FLOOR BELOW A DROP OF OVER TWENTY FEET
WITH A SCURRY OF SOUND, HIS CHICKEN TOED FEET TRAVERSED THE DISTANCE OVER THE VARNISHED LINOLEUM FLOOR
AND GRABBED * THE TALL MOTHER F******R WITH THE LITTLE ASS GUN*
BY THE WRIST AND PINNED HIM UP AGAINST A DOOR
AN ARM LOCK UP BEHIND THE BACK OF HIS NECK AND THREW HIM FORCEFULLY, DOWN, SLAMMING HIM UPON THE GROUND
“ARMS BEHIND YOUR BACK AND SPREAD YOUR LEGS” HE CRIED “I AM THE CHICKEN AVENGER, PHONE THE POLICE”
AND STUFFED HIM WITH AN ONION UP HIS BACKSIDE.

PACHYDERMATOLOGIST (rap)

UPON THIS PLANET EARTH
THERE WALKS A MIGHTY NOBLE BEAST
A DEDICATED DISCIPLE
OF THE ORIENTAL EAST
AN AFRICAN BEAUTY
A LITTLE ASIAN CUTIE
TUSKED, TOUGH, GREY, WRINKLED,
GIANT SIZED MAMMAL HIDES
A MATE OF HUMAN GREATNESS, AT LEAST

I’D LIKE TO TAKE YOU AWAY FROM NOW
TO A THOUSAND YEARS IN TIME
A THOUSAND YEARS, A THOUSAND YEARS, A THOUSAND YEARS IN TIME.

IN THE DEEPEST BLUE SEAS
AND ALL THE OCEAN WATERS GREEN
THERE’S A WORSHIPPER OF WATER
THAT IS RARELY SELDOM SEEN
AN ATLANTIC SWIMMER
AN UNDERWATER SINGER
BLUE, GREY, THICK, BARNACLED,
GIANT SIZED MAMMAL HIDES
A MIND OF HUMAN KINDNESS, UNSEEN

CHORUS

HE’S WALKED SO MANY MILES
SINCE HE TOOK HIS VERY FIRST BREATH
HE WILL BREATHE IN A THOUSAND LIVES
BY HIS PREDETERMINED DEATH
SINCE THE VERY FIRST STEP
MANKIND’S SELFISHNESS HAS LEAPT
RED, YELLOW, BLACK, WHITE
GIANT SIZED MAMMAL HIDES
A LONE MAMMAL THE ONLY ONE LEFT

3 Responses to Lyrics

  1. Asbach says:

    You must take part in a contest for one of the best blogs on the web. I’ll recommend this site!

  2. Noroubnub says:

    This was interesting and ive forwarded it on to all my friends on planet zikzar45. IF they like what you have written they may spare your life
    but if they dont, well you should prepare your will. Earthling.

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